Ep.5: Let Me Tell You About Skaia

Nannasprite gives us the lowdown on what this crazy game's all about, while Rose gives us some insight into her fucked up relationship with her mother. Meanwhile Mike and I show off our voice acting chops. No, we didn't get some girls to voice Jade and Nanna; that's all us baby.

Songs used in this episode: Aggrieve (Violin Refrain), Aggrieve, Showtime (Imp Strife Mix), Nannaquin, and Skies of Skaia from Homestuck Volumes 1-4, and Gamebro (Original 1990 Mix) from Homestuck Volume 6: Heir Transparent.

Ep. 4: Let Me Tell You About Rose and Dave

Rose begins to make her way through the house to get to her emergency back-up generator, while I introduce Mike to his webcomic soulmate. Also, Mike and I have one of the worst rap-offs in the history of Paradox Space.

Songs featured in this episode: Space Prankster, Pumpkin Cravings, and Phantasmagoric Waltz from Homestuck Volume 5; Anbroids V2.0 and Trepidation from Homestuck Volume 9; Flare from Homestuck Volume 8; The soundtrack from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: The Moive; and Tall, Dark and Loathesome and Hearts Flush from Midnight Crew: Drawing Dead, along with the samples from Dave's Phat Beat Machine and an audio clip from the film Little Monsters.

Ep.3: Let Me Tell You About SBURB Some More

Do you know what is great for the health of a burgeoning podcast? A two week break. Mike and I come back from sick leave so that I can introduce him to Rose Lalonde as she works to save John from a meteor the size of Texas (or maybe just Rhode Island), sending him to a strange new world where he's pestered constantly by a voice in his head.

This episode features the songs Switchback, Clockwork Melody, and Space Prankster from Homestuck Vol. 5, Ohgodwhat, Aggrieve (Violin Refrain), and Sburban Countdown from Homestuck Volumes 1-4, and The Deeper You Go from Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido.

Ep.2: Let Me Tell You About SBURB

Mike and I continue to descend into the screaming void of Homestuck. John STRIFEs with his father, puts a bunny back in the box, and starts playing SBURB with his internet friend tentacleTherapist, while Mike comes down with his first case of The Homestucks.

This episode features the songs Harlequin, Showtime (Original Mix), and Sburban Jungle from Homestuck Volumes 1-4, along with sound clips from the films A Time to Kill and Con Air.

Ep.1: Let Me Tell You About John Egbert

So a whole lotta chumps on the internet seem pretty into this Homestuck thing. But normal people, with lives and rich interpersonal relationships? They can't be bothered with bullshit like this:

I mean, what the fuck am I even looking at here? A bunch of god damn nonsense, that's what.

Well, okay. That's not true. I know exactly what I'm looking at. Lord English the time-traveling billiards-themed pimp demon is descending in his magical sarcophagus onto a Time Quest Bed in a dream bubble collusion of The Felt's mansion, The Land of Heat and Clockwork, Skaia, one of Alternia's moons, Prospit, and Derse, somewhere out in the void of the Furthest Ring. This is a sentence that makes perfect sense if you're reading Homestuck.

See, the terrible truth is that I'm a can of grey body paint and a pair of fake horns away from being the most wretched and disgusting Homestuck fan you can find. My knowledge of this convoluted nonsensical 6000 page long clusterfuck of a webcomic is nigh on encyclopedic.

Thankfully, not everyone is like me. Most people don't have time for this shit. You know someone who doesn't have time for this shit? Mike Blais, Internet Mogul Extraordinaire. But what Mike Blais DOES have time for is fleeting evanescent internet popularity. And these days the king at the heaping shit-pile of internet fame is Homestuck.

And so, Mike Blais has entered into a dark contract with me. I will proceed to read him the entirety of Homestuck over Skype, and he will record my narration and his reactions to it in the vain hope that the resultant audio files will lead to a treasure horde of retweets and followers, and desperately try to maintain his sanity as we spiral into the bottomless depths of MS Paint Adventures.

This episode features the song Homestuck from Homestuck Volume 5, and Showtime (Piano Refrain) from Homestuck Volumes 1-4.